For the Love of Cooking...

I've found my secret mojo in the kitchen. Not like Julia Childs cooking, but honest to goodness real recipes, that people are eating. I've found that not only do I enjoy the actual process of bringing together healthy, everyday ingredients to form a delicious meal, but I find that it gives me some sense of purpose again. I know that probably sounds weird, but we as Americans are so defined in what we do for a living, that when you aren't working, it is hard to define who you are. Besides, my very core definition of who I am is in a state of flux at the moment.

I'm a mom, most definitely - and a good one at that. My daughter, despite our upheavals lately, is happy, healthy and feels secure. She has a few good toddler friends and loves to read, or be read to that is. She is potty trained and eats relatively well for a toddler. She likes her vegetables and while she knows what french fries are, doesn't request them as a rule. She does have quite the sweet tooth though. She gets that one from her Mommy...

I'm a photographer. While I'm not making money at it at the moment, I still love the very thought of catching a person's emotion through a camera lens, then creating an essence in a portrait. I haven't been out shooting as much as I would like too, other than with my small point and click. My moronic husband sold my camera gear back with all the other stuff in Oct. Lot of things I could say about that... but I digress.

I'm part of a family. A vital part, I'd like to think. I have sisters and nieces and nephews and a mom and step-dad and a grandmother, along with a couple aunts and an uncle that I am part of. We do things together and laugh, and share stories and sometimes we don't get along; okay most of the time at least two people are getting along, but isn't that family? None of us are perfect. I try to help out my family when I can, even when it comes back to haunt me. My grandmother reminded me recently that "no good deed goes unpunished..." Isn't that the truth?!

I am a Christian. God sent His son Jesus to die for me, that I may have eternal life. I'm grateful for His grace, because I need it so often! I'm thankful for his presence, because even in the midst of constant turmoil, I have peace.

I am a friend. While I don't have a great deal of friends, the friendships I do have are precious to me and I am fiercely loyal to them. They know they can count on me for anything and I know the same in return. I'm blessed to have the right people around me exactly when I need them & can assist with their load when they need it.

And know I can say I am a cook. This is what started this post, right? It might not be apparent to most, but it really is a big deal, because I used to burn water. No joke. I've ruined spaghettio's before... But in trying to create a different, more savory flavor with the ordinary ingredients that my budget affords, I have discovered that I've also discovered a more savory layer of myself. And I really need that right now.

Package Fun!

Karin sent me a huge package the other day. Filled with wonderful blessings to help me out a whole lot! A new infant car seat, breast pump and a few new outfits. But what Abigail saw was an entirely different picture! She saw all the wonderful packaging peanuts! So at first I fought her, trying to keep the mess to a minimum and in the box. I could see that it clearly wasn't working and she REALLY wanted to just jump in and play - so I let her. Mess and all! She had a grand time and mom had a grand time cleaning up the mess later that night. Just a quick note - I'm STILL picking up packing peanuts...

I absolutely LOVE her smile! Her half moon eyes and full teeth grin can make all the aggravation go away. I am the luckiest person on the planet that she thinks I'm her whole world! Because I want her to know that she is MY whole world!

2nd Dental Visit

Abigail had her second ever dental visit today. She did so very well! No cavities to report, but she does have a few spots that we are keeping an eye on. Because of her high fevers when her molars were coming in, the enamel on her back molars never hardened completely. More thorough brushing for us!

I'm 28 weeks pregnant this week. Only 12 more weeks to go - hopefully! A lot of things are going through my mind about being in this last trimester. First, this is the last time I will be pregnant, so I'm trying to enjoy the feeling of little one kicking and squirming around. I'm going to be sure this time and get sterilized! Another thought is how I'm going to do this alone? I mean, I know I'm not alone - but without a partner, husband. Abigail is a lot of work. She is such a busy toddler and wants/deserves a lot of attention. So I can't imagine how I will be turning her life upside down by having another child. Especially at first when a newborn requires so much. I'm also wondering if I've decided to take on too much by breastfeeding and cloth diapering. Both decisions are way better for the baby, but will make things a little more hectic for Abigail. Am I making the right decisions? Only time will tell. And since I don't have a partner anymore to share responsibility raising our daughters with, the sole ability to screw them up lies with me. Scary thought...

Plant City Strawberries!

 Beautiful, delicious, Florida strawberries~ there is nothing better than the sweet taste of locally grown produce! We found these gems at a roadside stand today and thought it was a bit too early for such delicasies but glad we took a chance. They were heavenly! Sooo sweet and juicy! No sugar needed to sweeten these berries for shortcakes!

 I set out baking fresh, homemade shortcakes to have the perfect strawberry shortcake dessert!

Abigail gives her smiles of approval.

Ringing in the New Year...

 Cheers Mommy! We had a wonderful New Years Eve party at Grandma's house with all the kids in attendance at full energy level! I made appetizers, too many of course, and the grown-ups played cards while the kids ran amok. And boy did they run amok! They were excited to be able to toast the new year in with their very own champagne glasses and sparkling juice. They all made it to midnight and watched the neighbor's fireworks shortly there after.

 Marissa, Evie & Sabrina toasting in the new year!

 Abigail preferred her strawberry milk over sparkling juice.

 Noisemakers and "champagne"! What a better combination for the munchkins!

 Abigail & Javier are so cute sharing earbuds while waiting for the ball to drop. He was being a perfect gentleman by finding a song that didn't have "a bad word in it for Abigail"!

I love you little girl, so very much! I know we spent this New Year's Eve just the two of us as a family, but next year we'll have little Amelia with us too!

Happy New Year!

I've learned some very important lessons in 2010. While all teachings have the ability to be life changing, a few of the lessons I had to learn this year will have life long lasting effects. Read on for my schooling at "Life University" this past year.

My first lesson came in February on our return trip from visiting Karin and family in NY. NEVER attempt to save money on flights by opting for a 3-plane trip with a not-quite-2 yr. old toddler. She will never make it to your destination in a good mood. And more than likely, the meltdown will occur somewhere in the middle...

Another lesson learned involved my desire to switch careers. I, like so many others, have been misled that there is ALWAYS a need for quality teachers. Well, after studying for weeks and successfully passing the Elementary Certification Exam, I woke up to a St. Pete Times headline that revealed that it was "The worst year for hiring teachers since the Great Depression." Needless to say, I'm still not employed as a teacher, but I am signed up for substitute training and keep trying!

The lessons continued throughout the summer, such as: you can't pay bills with fake money; unemployment doesn't stretch as far as one would like it too and yes, FL summers are brutally hot as ever. But nothing could have prepared me for the lesson that even IUD's are not foolproof. Yes... I have heard of people getting pregnant on birth control before, but with an IUD? Really? I called Mirena's customer service line to discuss my displeasure of their product. They reminded me that "no birth control is 100% effective, but they were sorry to hear that I wasn't satisfied with their product." Thank you very much. I will try to contain my joy at raising another child for 18 years.

While I was still reeling from my life long lesson discovered in August, one of Hillsborough county's finest educated me on the costly decision to accelerate beyond the posted speed limit over the Courtney Campbell Causeway (I really did NOT see the speed limit change!). About 2 weeks later, I learned that even the second car going through a green light is at risk of being hit by a red-light runner! Our truck was totaled in the accident that thankfully, spared everyone from injury.

Probably the most disappointing lesson I had to learn this year, was the one that even those you love, can hurt you beyond belief; and even your spouse can lie, cheat and steal. I'm a trusting person by nature and generally believe what someone tells me. Even when you've made mistakes before, I'll give you another chance just for the asking. I hope by learning this lesson I can learn to temper my judgement, but still keep my trusting nature.

I'm ready for 2011 to be a not so "educational" year for me. The lessons I learned last year will carry me through most, if not all of this one. Besides, I'll be learning a lot about being a single mom to a rambunctious soon to be 3 year old and a newborn. Lots of moms have done it before, and while I didn't want to raise my daughters like this, I'm determined to be successful too!

Christmas Memories 2010

Another Christmas has come and gone. Another holiday with people missing from the celebration. Not only was Sal absent (Abigail did ask if Santa was leaving him presents) but I missed seeing three of my sisters as well. Jill & Dwayne are still living in Oklahoma, although we did get to talk to them; Heather & Jaylen stayed home because Jaylen was pretty sick and had pink eye; Stacy, John & Bryce spent Christmas at Disney World. Now that's a nice Santa!

Since I wasn't working in December this year, and living with Grandma, I helped out a lot with different festivities and cooked my first Christmas dinner! Gram added some help so everything came out beautiful. We made cookies about 3 or 4 times, so I ate more than my fair share! Not looking forward to stepping on the scale tomorrow at the OB office... Although on a side note, as of last Dr. appointment, I was still down 2 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

We took a trip to Wesley Chapel to Wiregrass Mall Christmas Festival. It was beautiful! Light show to christmas music, lots of festive decorations and Abigail loved the lights! We ended the night with a trip to Blondie's Cookies. Yum Yum!

We made decorations and headed to church; we trimmed a few trees and wrapped about a hundred presents. All in all, it was a special year. A time for healing, a time for rejoycing, and most importantly, a time to celebrate our Savior's birth!

Enjoy the photo memories!

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