New Job!

Yes! Finally after 2 years of trying to find something more permanent than photography, and after 1 & 1/2 years of trying to get into the teaching field, I FINALLY LANDED A FULL TIME JOB! I'm working back in human resources and payroll and working for a non-profit company, Tampa Jewish Federation. The position encompasses processing payroll and human resource management for both the Federation, which includes numerous community service programs, 2 preschools and several summer camp programs; and the for-profit assisted living facility, Weinberg Village. I'm very excited to go back to work full time and earn wages that I can support myself and my daughters with. It has been over 5 years since I have been in the HR field and admittedly, I have a lot to catch up on. But my HR mentor and friends has assured me that it really is like riding a bicycle and I'll be back up to speed in no time!

Thank you to all who have said numerous prayers for this very event for the last few years! God is very good and is faithful. He never promises speed, He never promises to do things in our time or meet our demands, but rather what furthers HIS kingdom. I'm interested to see what things He has in place for me where I have landed! Keep those prayers coming!

Neurology Visit ~ EEG Test

Having an EEG test performed looks a little scary, but really doesn't afftect the patient very much, barring the sticky goop that ends up all over your head. It also looks really quite funny! Amelia had all these probes all over her head and then they wrapped her up in gauze. In hindsight, I should have taken a picture! She looked like a lab monkey!

I watched the lines on the test and my grandmother held Amelia. I don't know what I was looking for, as I have no idea how to read an EEG test. I guess maybe I was expecting the computer to immediately self diagnose my daughter's squiggly lines and print out signals on the screen such as "QUICK! Get the Doctor!" or "Real bad case of nfieroa hioewhaiophioa;bn tuei" (that's some latin word for a disease that has yet to become mainstream because only a few people have it, including my daughter) or rather "Everything is normal. Send patient home reassured." But back to reality - none of those messages appeared on the screen.

The test was over in about 25 minutes and now we have to wait until next week for the results. Although the tech added that if there was cause for concern, the doctor would call before then. Since I have to believe there is a hidden meaning to everything medical people tell you (when usually there isn't) I'm sitting on the fence as to whether that meant "expect a call" or "it's fine so no need to fret for the week".  Uugh!

On a lighter note, the tech was expecting, and asked about Amelia's cloth diapers when I changed her. So we had a short discussion about my cloth diapering experience and how to get her started. I wished her luck with her pregnancy and we went on our way. Barring the reason we were in Tampa to begin with, it was a nice day to spend with my grandmother. We stopped at Westshore Mall in Tampa to eat, shop a little and for Starbucks, of course!

Amelia's Neurology Appointment

I am in continued awe of parents with chronically ill or special needs children. I honestly don't know how they do it. I don't know how they handle the sleepless nights, or how they pay the medical bills, or how they justify the extra attention that has to be paid to their typically adjusted siblings. How? What? Where is this extra source of energy? Gumption? Is that even a word? But you understand, they just seem to have more of something special. Maybe it is the child itself. Maybe the bond between a parent and a more needy child is more special than the bond of a typically developed/healthy child. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not find out. I'm sure those parents didn't want to either. They just are.

I'm certainly not saying I'm there yet or will be. I just know I don't want to be one of them. Today was only the first appointment and I know very little more tonight than what I knew this morning. Which is what I expected. After answering a few questions regarding family history and daily living habits, including the sperm donor who has never even laid eyes on her, the physician briefly examined her. She commented on her low muscle tone, how she was such a good baby and offered little explanation into her developmental delays. With that being said, I was quick to point out that since her 6-month well check-up, Amelia has been lifting her head better, reaching out with her hands a little more and can respond to her sister with her own yelps and squeals. These are all signs that she is progressing, just not at a "normal" rate. That had to be good, right? "Yes", she answered. "If it were a neurologically progressive disease, we would be seeing more lethargy, not improvements." This sounded reassuring, but since I really knew this part on my own, it wasn't as reassuring to me as it should have been.

We discussed my concern with her seizure like activity. One type of activity is presented shortly after her bottle feeding, but not usually solids, such as cereal, etc. She will arch her back like she did with the reflux, but also lock her head way back (almost touching her back) and stretch out her arms with clenched fists, her eyes will flutter and roll back and she grunts, almost like in pain. This can go on for 5 to 10 minutes or so after feedings. I'm not convinced it isn't simply related to the reflux, but I'll leave that for the doctors to figure out. Another episode she presents seems to be this staring into space, dead weight body, and then her head will drop. This will present itself for about 15 to 20 seconds and then she "comes to", fine as she was before. Then there are times where she is literally writhing around like a snake, or belly dancer, and it appears completely involuntary (as this can also occur in her sleep).

There are other symptoms we have noticed along the way and I should have taken better notes, because somehow I feel like I didn't convey the gravity of my concern to the doctor. I'm sure I did, but there was no "AHA!" moment in her voice, or even the voice of reassurance, only the listing of the battery of tests that "might" have to be performed. But, says the doctor, let's get the standard EEG done tomorrow, and then we may know more. Great. Another trip to Tampa, another day of missed work. I will do anything that I need to, but having a job with no vacation or sick benefits means if I don't work, I don't get paid. Simple as that. However, we will be back there tomorrow afternoon, with a jacket this time, because for a pediatric doctors office, it was INSANELY cold. Who needs to waste that much electricity anyway? But I digress...

So another night of praying, another round of "what if's" and another night thankful that our Lord God has found favor in me by entrusting me with these two beautiful angels! I will update more when we learn more. Please keep Amelia in your prayers for health, Abigail in your prayers for understanding and me in your prayers for strength and wisdom. Thank you!

Halloween 2011

There really is little to compare to a child's delight when it comes to Halloween. As a Christian mom, I am somewhat torn between the celebration of all things evil and the child-like magic that comes from playing dress-up and asking complete strangers for fistfuls of gummy, goey, chocolatey candy. Being a chocolate lover myself, I find it hard to resist the stuff. But I digress. Ken went out trick or treating with us tonight and I asked something to the effect if he remembered trick or treating with his kids when they were little. He indicated that he and his ex wife didn't allow the kids to celebrate Halloween because of the pagan rituals, etc. Again, being a Christian, I can understand that following. His children didn't lack for anything as they were taken to fall festivals at church, etc. instead. Perfectly acceptable in my book.

But I wouldn't have missed tonight with my girls for the world! Amelia's year of special "firsts" & Abigail is now old enough to understand her magical version of Halloween (no ghosts, goblins or scary things yet for her...) and has been talking about trick or treating since she picked out her costume over a month ago. She has attended two fall festivals with her costume and now trick or treating. She was all too happy to carry her sister's bucket and fill it with candy "cause sissy is too little" she says. I'm sure she'll be all too happy to eat the stuff as well! That's ok, as long as it's her and not I! 

Happy Halloween!

Hard to believe that the girls are getting so big! Abigail is really looking forward to trick or treating this year! We are going as the Sesame Street crew. Hopefully I can make it to the mall by Monday so I can pick up a Cookie Monster t-shirt to go with Abigail's Big Bird and Amelia's Elmo costume. Hope you have a great Halloween and get more treats than tricks this year!

This digital greeting card generated with Smilebox

The More You Read

I saw this Dr. Suess drawing and saying on an elementary school media center door the other day and just had to capture it. There were a few others that I captured as well, but this saying stuck with me more than others. Why? I guess because of the school's location, books and imagination may be the only escape for most of the children who frequent those media center doors. It was a school in west Tampa in a pretty impoverished neighborhood. Books can take you very far! I remember reading books and writing in a journal to escape from "life". I wonder how many kids at that school need to escape? I pray that God bless each of the students and the teachers with a safe and productive year!

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I Want A JOB!

This is how I feel! I feel like walking around with a sign on the street corner like the homeless do begging for money. But instead of begging for money, I want to beg for a JOB! A good job. Is that too much to ask? I have a good education, lots of skills that are transferable from one career to another and an excellent work ethic. So what's the problem? Well, if you ask the "experts", the stalemate answer one gets is "the economy is still in the tank". Really? You think so? Hmmm... I didn't think of that one.

Now if you ask the politicians (all of whom ran on the platform of "creating jobs" mind you...) it depends on what party you are asking as to what the answer will be. If you are speaking to a democrat, the economy is still lousy because businesses are hoarding capital and not hiring despite handing out tax breaks like candy. If it is a republican doing the talking, they would say it is because the spend hearty democrats have burdened business with regulations and taxes that would otherwise create job growth. Everyone agrees that the so called stimulus funds handed out did little to stimulate such an ailing economy. That temporary solution is too expensive to try too many times.

If I had to take a gander on what the problem is I would say this: It's a little bit of both answers combined with the end of an era of Americans spending more than they make. If we take a good hard look at the last 20 years, so many of us have lived through credit, extended credit and more extended credit. We've financed homes and cars and education that is beyond our reach, and saved way too little for the proverbial rainy day. Well the rainy day has come and gone, and it is still raining. The forecast for the near future by the way is ~ more rain... Less items being purchased equals less money in business coffers. Less money in business coffers equals less money in the form of paychecks. Less paychecks equal job loss and families on the brink of disaster. All of it equals less taxes coming in to support local, state and federal government. Less money coming in to the government means either less federal spending (which equates into jobs...) or higher taxes. A vicious cycle that is very hard to break.

But I digress... I'm very thankful to have a seasonal job to go back to now that it is fall, but it isn't what I want to do, and by no means will it pay all the bills and allow me to fully support my 2 daughters. And it is only temporary. Come November, our photography season will be over, and I'll be looking for my sign... once again.